Musings on my neverending quest for sugar

Dawdling can be a very good thing

2007-07-03T21:22:00.000-07:00

So, I had a doctor's appointment this morning, and dawdled on my way to work...just because. (Well ok, my scanner decided to stop working and I took the extra time to reinstall everything ugh.) So because of my dawdling, I ended up staying later than I had planned, and after everyone else had left. This normally would have been disappointing, but it was so hot like I wanted to go outside when it was still light anyway.

Partway through my late-ish tissue culture experiment and with all of my cell plates out in the hood, the incubator starts beeping. Very loudly. The CO2 gas was low (actually, down to 0% and not moving), but the gas tank was still adequately full. Well, if it wasn't the tank, I didn't know how to fix it. After pondering for a few minutes and leaving the boss a voicemail, I realized that we had a second incubator in another room, so I cleaned off a dirty cart (yuck) and promptly moved all of our plates into the working incubator. In the meantime, boss calls back and says he's coming over to check if it's a loose gas hose on the incubator, because if it is, we need to be moving cells for another lab, since the gas tank would completely leak out into the room overnight and then all the other incubators (and the cells contained therein) hooked up to it would be screwed.

So it was the hose (again) (yes this has happened before, I think we need to be gluing that in now), and we moved some possibly radioactive cells into another incubator, har.

But now I think - if I had gone to work in a timely manner and finished everything on time, nobody would have been in the lab when the incubator decided to pop its hose. And we (as well as another lab) would have lost a month's worth of work.

Hah. No wonder why I never learn that wasting time is bad.

Fear for the medical community!

2007-01-16T18:27:00.000-08:00

Pre-med Nick offers this argument after I scolded him for just eating bread for sustenance:

morpheus: bread was lik the most impt food in the 17th century ok
morpheus: most impt.
morpheus: mind u

I think he's just jealous I have chicken and stir-fried veggies with rice. :D

Quote of the weekend

2006-11-26T22:03:00.000-08:00

Me: "Get those pants off!"
Lil sis: "They're coming off, they're coming off!"

For uhh, some context, it was laundry time. :)

And things I never noticed until I was home:

Our kitchen is really small.
Our toilet is hella weak (and I never use the word "hella")
It's so much fun to watch Squee eat. Her fuzzy cheeks wiggle, and things disappear inside her mouth.
My family is crazy, in a hilariously good way.
Our dog is really, really cute.
My dad is hilarious, in usually unintended ways.
I find the smallest things quite amusing. This is probably why I'm so happy all the time.

A new look

2006-11-21T09:25:00.000-08:00

Just to spice things up. Quick updates:

Vicky's gotten me into making comics. Damn you, Vicky! I should be studying for the GRE! *shakes fist* Will post some work-in-progress soon. Hopefully...

Aforementioned comics will be a bit difficult to finish, since Mom suggested that I drive home for Thanksgiving...tomorrow. Hopefully we'll find the scanner, heh. And BAH on Merced being 50 degrees! BAH! This past weekend in LA, it was 90! (I shit you not.)

Another incredulous thing that I'm shitting nobody on: Yesterday I was doing research on the Tang Dynasty for aforementioned comic, and a webpage I had found (that was definitely on the Tang Dynasty) was blocked by City of Hope for being on "Non-Traditional Religions and Occult and Folklore."

Thoughts that ran through my head when the doorbell was rung multiple times on 7AM Sunday

2006-11-12T11:14:00.000-08:00

"Just leave the package at the door, geez!....Oh yeah, it's Sunday..."

"I don't care how hard you try to wake me up, I'm not going to church!"

"I took my laundry out of the communal laundry room last night, I swear!"

(At this point the doorbell rings stop, and someone starts loudly knocking on the window instead.)

"If someone's dying or something, just yell through the window. You really think we're going to come if someone's just ringing our doorbell and knocking our window randomly on 7AM?"

"C'mon, roomie! You have a big kickboxing boyfriend staying over for a reason!" (at this point I was thinking of lugging the large, heavy flashlight over to the door and answering the damn thing myself.)

This has happened before, and I highly suspect it's one of the near-senile neighbors. I vaguely saw someone old shuffle back into an apartment and come back with a broom between the doorbell ringing and the window knocking.

A nearly belated Halloween post

2006-10-31T22:54:00.000-08:00

What else did you expect? I tried to model it after the DKR batsignal, but I dunno how successful I was at that...

Awwwwww...

2006-09-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

An interesting day at the Rainbow Bridge.

Rainbow Bridge is a place of both peace and anticipation as departed pets await their beloved owners. There are plenty of things to keep them contented while they wait: trees you can't get stuck in, endless meadows, splashing streams, thickets perfect to hide in for pounce-attack games.

But one day the residents noticed some rather...unusual newcomers arrive.

The koalas and the kangaroos slipped in rather quietly, but then came the bearded dragons, the skinks and the goannas. The influx of snakes startled an entire family of cats up a tree. Pythons, cobras, tiger snakes, brown snakes, and even fierce snakes. There were so many at one point, it seemed the ground itself was alive with writhing. A burly wombat shouldered his way through the crowd and plopped down in a
shady spot, barely missing a Jack Russell terrier who yapped indignantly as he abandoned his position.

And then the crocodiles showed up.

Finally, a Great Dane managed to get up enough nerve to approach one of the reptilian giants.

"Um....excuse me," he said hesitantly. "But why are you all here?"

The croc dropped her jaw and laughed. "Same as you, mate," she said. "Waitin' for someone who loved us."

The dogs, cats, gerbils, and other "typical pets" looked at each other in confusion, then at the plethora of weird, ugly, and downright deadly creatures assembled. Who on Earth could possibly love some of those faces?

"I see him!" shouted a green mamba from his vantage point in one of the trees. A cacophony of squeaks, hisses, bellows, and roars erupted as the mob surged forward toward a lone human walking across the field toward the bridge. The other animals managed to catch a glimpse of him before he was overwhelmed by the crowd.

"CRIKEY!" he shouted joyously right before he was bowled over by the wombat.

"Well I'll be," said a Persian as she tidied up her fur. "It's that Aussie my human liked to watch on TV. Had to be the craziest human on the whole planet."

"Oh, please," remarked a echidna as he hurried by. "Is it really that crazy to passionately love something God made?"

And for some entertainment...

2006-09-12T07:12:00.000-07:00

Here's my subsequent Craigslist post:

Upon posting my first w4m CL personal ad, I've received upwards of 500 emails (and still counting). Only 10% of these emails I read more than once and kept in my inbox for further perusal. Here are some tips for the kind of people who were part of the 90% whose messages I immediately sent to my trash bin.

For those of you with short attention spans, here's the most important one :

Read the ad, and respond accordingly.

This means:

If I use paragraphs, please use paragraphs.
If I capitalize words and spell "you" out, please do the same.
If I d0n't type like this, d0n't think it's t0tally c00l f0r y0u to type like this.
..oR tHiS, fOr tHaT mAtTer.
I'm not an idiot, I can tell if you're copying and pasting a response. (Mentioning that you like hitting up bars and clubs when I mentioned very specifically that I don't, is a clue.) Since you're probably answering ~20 ads anyway, I don't feel too bad about deleting your message.
Same thing about MySpace profile plugs. If you don't want to bother telling me about yourself, obviously I'm not worth your time.
If I do not list ideal male physical attributes, don't send me a photo of yourself shirtless.
If I do not mention sex, don't send me a picture of your peen.

And other random notes for consideration:

Just because I describe myself as ethnicity A, doesn't mean that my parents were born in country A, or that I particularly identify with being from country A. Therefore, writing things like "women from country B are too materialistic for me" doesn't come across so well when my mother was born in country B. Mentioning that you have/haven't dated girls of ethnicity A isn't winning points with me either. It gives off the impression that I am just "girl from country A" to you.
I have no idea why guys think it's creative to describe themselves as cars, but it's not. Maybe you're trying to emulate e.e. cummings, but you're failing. And failing miserably, believe me.
Looking at pictures of guys trying to be macho and serious is getting rather morose. What's the deal with guys and smiles?

And now here are a few tips for those of you posting ads:

Take an honest look at yourself. Lamenting the lack of depth and personality while looking for a guy who is 6'2", well-dressed, has beautiful hands, and six-pack abs doesn't quite speak very favorably about you.
Trying to market yourself to the entirety of the male masses probably doesn't work in your favor either. It's almost hilarious, going through other ads and seeing how homogenous they all are, complete with cleavage/ass/leg photos. The nice and decent guys (presumably, the ones you're looking for) probably aren't going to answer your ad. I don't really see what the need for that kind of marketing is either - I made a conscious effort to narrow down my audience to a small niche (no cleavage, no ass, no leg, no mention of sex, no drinking, no going out on the town), but I still received 500+ emails.

Sure, 90% of them were crap, but the 10% that were nice and sincere makes it all worth it. And that's still 50 emails...

My faith in the male species has been restored

2006-09-12T06:59:00.000-07:00

So I posted a w4m ad on Craigslist, and...let me just say I'm glad that my listing expired last night. :P I've gotten some very nice responses, and a particularly low number of shady emails (which included one married guy ew). Most of what I've deleted were emails which were obviously copied and pasted, or from guys who didn't know how to write correctly.

Yesterday Vicky sends me this link, about someone who faked a hardcore w4m ad and published every one of the responses (including personal information), later asking people on the internet to identify the respondents. (Idiot.)

What really got me was the number of responses he apparently received in 24 hours: 178.

I received exactly 400 emails in the same amount of time. (Try THAT for a so-called Craigslist experiment, LOL.) So, there are apparently more guys looking for nerdy, articulate girls rather than guys looking for quick sex. Glory hallelujah.

...

2006-08-21T00:02:00.000-07:00

So, I go to watch the 11PM news, and they have "breaking news" that's about...John Mark Karr arriving at LAX, and what he ate on his business class trip.

...

I turn off the TV and am now listening to NPR on iTunes. This is absolutely ridiculous.

In other news, I saw Snakes on a Plane with Ariana last night. The audience was less rowdy than I would have liked, but it was still funny. And I dreamt of turtles, not snakes. Thank God.

Hmmm...

2006-08-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

During our radiation safety training today, we were given a table of relative life-related risks that could shorten lifespan. (Obviously, to prove that radiation was really the least of our worries.) At the top, being an unmarried man: losing 5 years of one's life. My lab partner Nick was incredulous. "This doesn't make any sense!"

And then he mentioned later that he ate nothing but cereal at home.

...hmm, I wonder....

On the Middle East...

2006-07-30T19:18:00.000-07:00

While watching CNN, my mom observed, "Couldn't we just have a giant alien invasion so everyone would be distracted and stop fighting?"

Mmm, someone's already thought of that. In 1986, no less.

The Fountain

2006-07-27T03:18:00.000-07:00

Our bodies are prisons for our souls,
All flesh decays.
Death turns all to ash.
And thus, death frees every soul.

Everytime I watch that trailer, tears stream down my face. I guess it's a remnant of this past year, finally comprehending what death means. When I was in the Taipei hospital watching my mother pat my grandmother's head and talking to her like a small child, the only vision that went through my mind was me in the future, doing the same thing to my mother.

Long-due updates...

2006-07-19T17:18:00.000-07:00

My summer has been productive, even as I wake up everyday at home at noon. :P For one thing, I got a nice job working at City of Hope, a cancer research hospital, contributing back to society. At least that's what I will tell myself when I look out the window and see cancer patients in face masks and wheelchairs. Even if my contribution won't be applicable until like...2020, it's still something!

In more specific terms, I'll be looking at the mechanisms of chromosomal repair in mouse stem cells. Once we've got the process figured out, it may lead to a way to alter cancerous tumor cells before chemo so that less radiation is needed to kill them. "May" being the operative word here. But I've just gotten word from the boss that the NIH and NCI (National Cancer Institute) is going to fund us, so what we're doing sounds awfully important.

In more practical terms, I'll be working with a lot of petri dishes, and hopefully if things work out, also looking for pretty cells under the microscope. For hours on end...

For my second productive summer accomplishment, I found someone sharing a nice condo in Arcadia for a terrific price. Yay for Craigslist. I have enough space in my room to set up a little corner art studio, and the new elementary-school-teacher roomie seems very nice. I may flex my artistic muscles for elementary school in a different way now. I did miss elementary school, since I didn't really have a chance to show off my talents anymore once we had to take tests and junk.

And I just found out that there is a 99 Ranch Market less than a mile from my new place. Ahhh, life is good indeed.

Now, um...for the packing. In 100+ heat. Ugh.

In Nolan I trust

2006-06-29T20:21:00.000-07:00

...not Bryan Singer. Sorry dude, I think you'd be a blast to work with, but first of all I'll never forgive the shafting of the Storm character. And secondly, you made some plot decisions in Superman Returns that I was fairly disappointed with.

Don't get me wrong. I really liked SR, but something was missing. It didn't move me as much as Batman Begins, not by a mile...and after mulling it over in my head I think I've finallly got it.

We were led to believe that SR was going to be about Supes finding his place in a world that had learned to live without him. We did not see that. We saw him trying to find his place in Lois's life because she had learned to live without him. Small potatoes in comparison. That was a huge disappointment for me.

We were led to believe (thanks to trailers heavily featuring old Marlon Brando voiceovers) that Supes was supposed to represent good, and his purpose was to inspire good in other people. We did not see that. He inspires awe, like he should, but not much else. The entire good-evil conflict is between him and Lex Luthor. Same old superhero story stuff.

For me, BB was so much bigger than what SR was. It was about a man who could have had anything he wanted, thanks to a vast inheritance. Anything. But he gave it up to understand a world that was completely foreign to him, and all because he felt so much anger and guilt from the death of his parents. It was about a man singlehandedly taking on an entire city rotting with corruption and hate. At the end of the movie, he doesn't go as far as inspiring goodness. But he inspires hope, and that is all the people of Gotham could wish for at this point. And we see the inklings of Batman inspiring people like Gordon, Finch, and Rachel to take a stand.

Sure, BB had plot holes that SR had 100000x more of. At least Bruce had a month or two to ready up Bats while Clark just jumped right back into Superman mode. And nobody noticed?! But for me, the heart of SR could have been so much bigger, on par with BB and even beyond, and I'm really disappointed that it wasn't.

Not to say that SR doesn't have beautiful shots like BB did. It was a gorgeous film, but for me, that wasn't enough to overcome the underwhelming character arcs and story decisions.

Christopher Nolan cannot make the BB sequels fast enough! But, I shall have patience and trust instead.

A photographic journal depicting the drama of garden life

2006-06-20T17:11:00.000-07:00

Mom's sunflowers apparently didn't get the memo about opening fractionally. Unless it does this in the early morning, in which case, tough luck regarding me capturing it on camera, LOL.

You! Ladybug! Stop moping around and wasting time....

..and starting eating the damn aphids!

Tell your kids to also!

"But we're outnumbered!" you cry. Have no fear, this evening we shall be dispensing the cavalry.

Some hope for politics after all

2006-06-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

BARACK OBAMA FOR PREZ!!!

That man will be president someday. He makes me feel like I matter. Like everyone matters. That at least someone is listening.

I think George Bush loves this country. I really do. I don't think his administration is "full" of stupid people. ... The problem is not that the philosophy of this administration is not working the way it's supposed to work; the problem is that it is working the way it's supposed to work. They don't believe -- they don't believe that government has a role in solving national problems because they think government is the problem. They think that we're better off if we just dismantle government; if, in the form of tax breaks, we make sure that everybody's responsible for buying your own health care and your own retirement security and your own child care and your own schools, your own private security forces, your own roads, your own levees.

It is called the "ownership society" in Washington. But, you know, historically there has been another term for it; it's called "social Darwinism" -- the notion that every man or woman is out for him or her self, which allows us to say that if we meet a guy who has worked in a steel plant for 30, 40 years and suddenly has the rug pulled out from under him and can't afford health care or can't afford a pension, you know, life isn't fair. It allows us to say to a child who doesn't have the wisdom to choose his or her own parents and so lives in a poor neighborhood, pick yourself up by your own bootstraps. It allows us to say to somebody who is seeing their child sick and is going bankrupt paying the bills, tough luck.

It's a bracing idea, this idea that you're on your own. It's the simplest thing in the world, easy to put on a bumper sticker. But there's just one problem; it doesn't work. It ignores our history. Now, yes, our greatness as a nation has depended on self-reliance and individual initiative and a belief in the free market, but it's also depended on our sense of mutual regard for each other, our sense that we have a stake in each other's success -- that everybody should have a shot at opportunity.

Americans understand this. They know the government can't solve all their problems, but they expect the government can help because they know it's an expression of what they're learning in Sunday school. What they learn in their church, in their synagogue, in their mosque - a basic moral precept that says that I have to look out for you and I have responsibility for you and you have responsibility for me, that I am your keeper and you are mine. That's what America is.

Wah!

2006-06-06T12:20:00.000-07:00

I wanted Stephen Colbert to speak at my commencement!

*cry*

Glad I'm not the only one...

2006-06-05T01:15:00.000-07:00

Oh, to be straight out of college and feeling helpless in my place in life.

Heard from the TV of the latest bombing
The girls were dancing, she was
Coming of age
Shells fired out
Flowers mowed down
Innocents targeted
Whose God is this?
Wish that she had one more day

Jingle jangle jingle jangle
Jangle and circle again

Heard from the TV of the latest bombing
The girls were dancing, she was
Coming of age
Shells fired out
Flowers mowed down
Innocence targeted
What god is this?
Wish that she had one more day

Jingle jangle jingle jangle
Jangle and circle again
Jingle jangle jingle jangle
Jangle and circle and end

Having post-college angst

2006-05-25T01:57:00.000-07:00

What is my purpose in life? It's like my mind is playing out Avenue Q...except now I've got to accept the fact that maybe I won't ever find my purpose and to enjoy the things that happen "for now."

I mean, we all know what life entails:

xj: Work hard, go to a nice school, meet and spend time with good people, work harder, get money, meet more ppl, spend money on them, have fun, keep working hard, have kids, spend money on them, make sure they start the cycle well, have some more fun with the money, die happy

But is that it, really? *sigh* I want to, like, save the world, but I don't know how a little person like me can start.

Being lazy...

2006-05-16T13:42:00.000-07:00

And watching/spoiling myself silly on X3/Superman Returns clips. I'm such a geek...

X3 looks mostly dumb, except for this one clip, and now that I've seen it I don't think I have to watch the rest of the movie. :P It isn't spoilerish if you know anything about X-men, but it's horrifying in its own right. *hugs poor little boy*

A young angel attempts to cut off his wings

Ratner and Co. could have really made something sadly poetic out of his story, but apparently he doesn't have much screen time so *sniff.* And adult Angel is so cute, in a Brandon Routh kind of way. *huggles them both*

Ribbons undone...

2006-05-16T13:26:00.000-07:00

She's a girl
Rising from a shell
Running to spring
It is her time
Watch her run with ribbons undone

She's a rose in a lily's cloak
She can hide her charms
It is her right
There will be time
To chase the sun with ribbons undone

She runs like a fire does
Just picking up daises
Comes in for a landing
A pure flash of lightning
Past alice blue blossoms
You follow her laughter
And then she'll surprise you
Arms filled with lavender

Yes my little pony is growing up fast
She corrects me and says
"You mean, a thoroughbred"
A look in her eyes says the battle's beginning
From school she comes home and cries,
"I don't want to grow up, Mom, at least not tonight."

You're a girl
Rising from a shell
Running through spring
With summer's hand in reach now
It is your time
It is your time
So just run with ribbons undone.

...look closer

2006-05-14T02:13:00.000-07:00

I'm finding it harder and harder not to notice the irony of circumstances around me. And one of them does deal with American Beauty and the person who *ahem* introduced me to it and claims it as his favorite movie. Figures. :P

And on the topic of life and death, lil sis has been basking in it the previous quarter. Apparently she got to interview a warden who executed death-row prisoners and was devastated by this story:

Apparently before execution, an inmate will typically convince himself that he is truly responsible for his sentenced crime, whether he confessed to it or appealed his case or not. This is probably to make peace with God (in whatever shape or form) in the light of death. For one inmate, his last words to the warden (when asked if he had made peace with God) were:

"I've made peace with my God. Have you?"

Weeks after the execution, exonerating evidence came up in favor of this inmate. Warden has been haunted by the inmate's last words ever since.

That's the thing about the death penalty. Sure, there are crimes where people feel that the perpetrator should die, but the problem is that we just don't know if they are really responsible. Sure, being pardoned years into incarceration is time that you can't get back, but at least you're alive.

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!!

2006-05-13T02:05:00.000-07:00

Right now you are down and out and feeling really crappy
And when I see how sad you are
It sort of makes me...happy!

Sorry, Nicky, human nature-
Nothing I can do!
It's...schadenfreude!
Making me feel glad that I'm not you.

D'ja ever clap when a waitress falls and drops a tray of glasses?
And ain't it fun to watch figure skaters falling on their asses?
And don'tcha feel all warm and cozy, watching people out in the rain!

That's...schadenfreude!
People taking pleasure in your pain!

Watching a vegetarian being told she just ate chicken
Or watching a frat boy realize just what he put his dick in!
Being on the elevator when somebody shouts "Hold the door!"
"No!!!"
Schadenfreude!
"Fuck you lady, that's what stairs are for!"

Straight-A students getting Bs?
Exes getting STDs!
Waking doormen from their naps!
Watching tourists reading maps!
Football players getting tackled!
CEOs getting shackled!
Watching actors never reach the ending of their Oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!

Mmmmm, Ave Q! Yay dirty Muppets and singing boxes and Bad Idea Bears and gay closeted Republican investment bankers!

And Las Vegas! What I wouldn't give to be a theme hotel designer...

"Hey, what sort of crap could we build with the scads of money that we have?"
"Indoor canal!/Indoor rain!/Fountain shows with pyrotechnics!/Steaming manhole covers!/Giant glass flowers!/A butterfly aviary!/Indoor tiger habitat!/Ginormous chocolate fountain!/Our own brewery!"
"Great idea!"

:P

I am...DONE!!!

2006-05-04T04:08:00.000-07:00

And I don't care if my grades suck, I am done and I have not failed any classes and GO ME!!

For celebration, I've been sleeping and now I'm wasting time watching movie trailers in ITS since nobody's here.

Here are my random opinions:

X-men 3 clip: Slightly humorous. Dialogue still omg baaaaaaaad. And why is Storm still a wuss? *cry* But Jackman still hot. :P

Superman Returns: Better than X-men, but dunno about the whole "still in love with Lois" stuff, cause yeah...never was a big fan of romance in movies. :P CGI also a bit meh, but I guess having people fly will always look weird. But I really really want to hug Brandon, he's so adorable. Dunno if that's good for Supes, but who cares?! *huggles* And lots and lots of love for Kevin Spacey. Wheee!

Pirates of the Caribbean 2:Lots and lots of love for Johnny Depp! Yay Johnny! And yay for kickass Keira Knightley wheee! And also a bit apprehensive about the possibility of a love triangle, but meh. Johnny Depp!

Finally taking a bit of a break...

2006-04-28T17:51:00.000-07:00

I have been making waves today. First, I send the bio dept on a tizzy cause I took their coffee carafe and they couldn't find it this morning and nobody got coffee today. Har.

And I've been surviving off the generosity of the math dept. First I use their ubernice, uberfree color printer to print out two copies of my thesis (it's so beautiful *sniff*, I just might have to print out another copy for myself) and then as the secretary is laying out nice food for the alums, I look at her with big puppy-dog eyes and tell her that I hadn't eaten anything all day (which was true). And then she welcomed me to nice reception food, including chocolate-covered strawberry goodness. Yay.

And now I'm vegging out for a bit before I have to finish one last stupid lab report and drive Shana to LA on two hours of sleep. On the computer lab floor, no less. Ugh.

You know you've regained your sanity when...

2006-04-28T12:44:00.000-07:00

You wake up on the floor of the computer lab and think how stupid it is that it's the second time you've slept there. Then you know you're ready to finish up your thesis. :P

Today is a surprising deja vu to two days ago. Wake up on the floor of the computer lab, decide to eat, eat really quickly, decide to shower, shower really quickly, and then rush over to a poster session. But I'm here printing out my thesis since nobody's asking me stuff and I have things to do today, dammit.

I love my math dept job. Or rather, the access it gives me to a supernice, free color printer. Heeeee.

Late night with cell bio and two male bio nerds

2006-04-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

...results in stuff like:

"We should totally write, "Tetrahymena is a model orgasm, because it has four hymens.""

And me going, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah.." and hiding under my blanket. Because ITS is cold. But at least it's keeping me awake.

This is ridiculous

2006-04-25T23:16:00.000-07:00

I am FREEZING here in ITS. I have my blanket here. Yes, really. And I'm wearing my skating pants, and I'm STILL colder than I was watching Worlds in Calgary. Like, in Alberta, Canada. In the arena. With the ice below. This is so stupid...

LOL

2006-04-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

So I've missed all of my classes for the past four days, straight. Including my makeup piano lesson, which I mistook the time for. This is a record. w00000t. Hopefully I'll be sane enough to go some of my classes tomorrow, but this probably means I won't sleep. I probably won't sleep anyway if I did miss class, depending on my lab reports are going...

It'll be over by next week, it'll be over by next week....

Grrr

2006-04-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

I hate it how I'm invested in other people's lives at times, even when I know I should let them figure out their damn problems on their own.

ETA: Or maybe it's a good thing. I feel like I'm finally making some leeway with someone. I should be more aggressive in my feelings more often. :P

And I wish people would stop feeling so alone and self-conscious. I guess I'm naive in that I have an innate trust in the goodness of people (despite their shallow quirks) but hey, spending time in downtown LA alone at night actually cemented that notion in me. :P You're all wonderful and special and have so much potential and stop worrying about what others think about you! What will it take to get it into your heads?!

I think...

2006-04-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

I think my strongest attribute as a person is accepting, and even welcoming criticism. I mean, how are you supposed to learn if you don't know what's wrong? (I wonder where I could put that on my resume...) I feel like there's an overbearing culture that says, "Act like you're right all the time, and hide your insecurities."

I disagree. I think that I should be aware of my weaknesses...and then choose to fix them as I see fit. :P

And apparently I am lacking skill in teasing boys or being unpredictable. I'm still figuring out whether I want to fix that, or how. (And if lack of said skill was the dealbreaker in that relationship, I think you're seriously on something. :P But I guess much can be forgiven if one has much teasing skills. Note to self.)

Heh...

2006-04-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

One unforeseen consequence of having the middle finger of my left hand damaged and bandaged up is that I'm constantly having to hold it up so it doesn't bang on anything, and it looks like I'm giving the finger to everyone.

Yes, eff you too world, eff you too.

Posting my resume online...

2006-04-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Is inviting job spam emails.

I'm being offered a marketing position?

Are you high????

I need to take my mom to a MUNI bus...

2006-04-18T00:25:00.000-07:00

..and see if she can set off the weight-triggered doors. Linh says she can't, and she just asked Ranor to sit on her chair to lower it, cause she's apparently too light to do so.

ROTFLMAO.

I HATE MY COMPUTER

2006-04-17T20:20:00.000-07:00

So, the motherboard is STILL attached to the case, and I've stripped the screw on the inside AND outside. Not that the outside hex shape would have helped much - it was like 5.5 mm and good luck finding a socket that size...I've already gone to Home Depot twice today. I've even tried taking everything out of case - now my computer is in pieces all over the floor.

And while I was trying to get it out, my hand slipped and a piece of the motherboard took off a chunk of my fingertip. I'm so pissed it doesn't even hurt. On my second trip to Home Depot, I drove basically one-handed while holding a tissue to my damaged finger, and walked around holding a bloody tissue. Didn't care what people thought. At least I can still type - hopefully that means I'll be able to have my piano lesson on Wednesday.

I think the only option now is drilling it out, and by this point I'm only too glad to do it. (DIE, COMPUTER, DIE!!!!) If I have to buy a new case, so be it, if the motherboard is fairly intact and MSI is still willing to replace it.

I'm a revolutionary!

2006-04-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

So, my sand dollar ink drawing is on display at the PoSA Spring Arts Fest thingie at the campus center. The people who set it up displayed it upside down, and only after seeing it that way did I realize that the center arms of the sand dollar looks like a marijuana leaf. :P

Not on purpose! I swear! Or, what the hell, I need something politically exciting anyway...

GAH!

2006-04-15T16:42:00.000-07:00

2009 Worlds is in LA!

Why am I graduating now?! *keyboard*

Prospie invasion!

2006-04-13T14:20:00.000-07:00

Prospies and their parents are so cute. :)

In a much better mood

2006-04-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

Going to San Diego and Vegas for senior week! Of course, going to see Avenue Q. Yaaay John Tartaglia!

What do you do with a B.A. in English?
What is my life going to be?
Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge
Have earned me this useless degree...

Can't pay the bills yet
Cause I have no skills yet
The world is a big scary place.

But somehow I can't shake
The feeling I might make,
A difference to the human race!

And yaaay that we're driving (and that I'm paid for gas money..)! If I see the Las Vegas airport again, it'll be too soon...

I don't think...

2006-04-11T12:02:00.000-07:00

...I've ever cried so much in my life. 40 straight minutes.

It's not even that I did badly on the test, it's the feeling that no matter how hard I try, I can't do any better. It feels like there's a wall closing in on me. I hate it.

The cumulative lab report for this class will be longer than my thesis, so God help me. I don't give up.

meow

2006-04-10T22:54:00.000-07:00

Now I know what it's like to be chosen by a cat. The little kitten I unofficially named Wicket (because he/she looks like an ewok) treated me like a plaything, pouncing onto my leg and ending up in my lap no less than 3 times and trying to chew on the drawstring of my pants.

I might become a cat person yet. :) Still not used to the claws though...although it's really funny when small kittens haven't figured out how to disengage from something right away.

And heh, Diana (who has my room next year woh) gleefully borrowed my copy of Watchmen. Hopefully I'll get it back before I graduate...but yay comic book nerdiness!

Not the fiendest of the sugarfiends...

2006-04-04T21:18:00.000-07:00

During tonight's finance class, I found myself sitting across from econ prof Michael Steinberger (who really isn't a bad person to find myself sitting across from, considering I mistook him for a student last week and he looks like a very-not-gay version of Shawn Sawyer, truth be told) and I was flabbergasted at how much sugar he put into his tea. Everytime he went up for a little cup of iced tea, he'd bring back 3-4 packets of sugar, and use them all. I swear, there was a little layer of sugar at the bottom on his cup.

And I thought I was crazy for sugar. I have been defeated! *shame*

O.O

2006-04-03T21:45:00.000-07:00

I just found a website called http://www.proteintrafficking.com/

I am SO weirded out.

Plus, I'm seeing the same figures again and again, and I've looked at three universities' lectures so far. What is this, do all cell bio professors have a get-together party where they agree to use the same figures?

And bit by bit...it all comes together...hopefully by tomorrow morning.

My second (or third) snerk post

2006-04-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

So I'm looking for background to better understand the stuff I'm studying for cell bio, and I happen upon an entire semester's lectures from a cell biology class from UCSB. (Yay for Google.)

Like vert physio, they also have information on midterm gradess on these slides too. For one midterm, the average was 44. Out of 100. Suddenly I feel better now. :P

urgh

2006-04-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks a lot thesis. Now I'm used to writing uberlong introductions for my lab reports. The physiology lab report calls for a 1-2 page intro and I've just typed up background notes that are 3 pages long, and very well could get longer once I go into detail.

O.O

Not to mention packing on the references, LOL...

Actually working on thesis now...

2006-03-30T21:34:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that I'm actually quite productive when I have a nonworking computer in my room?

Anyhow, I'm mucho afraid cause two people in my class claimed they had 50-60 page theses, and um, they looked it. Mine's only 15 pages so far. A good 5 of those pages are just references though, and it should get bigger with the addition of my results, LOL. And the addition of many more references that I've found but am saving for the coup de grace of the final draft, LOL. Well, I guess.

But...50-60 pages? WTF?! I went into science to make sure I wouldn't have to write that much, ever!

*wails*

Should be working on my thesis but...

2006-03-29T12:44:00.000-08:00

Photos from Worlds!

It's pretty obvious that I was getting better at the manual focus on my camera as the days went on...I got a lot of blurry shots from the men's LP the first day, LOL.

And an aside: I'm so much more productive when I have a nonworking computer in my room. :P It won't turn on, but I think it's just a power supply thing. Casey says I need to stab the motherboard with a screwdriver to harm it, and I haven't done that soo....

The dudes at ITS were all O.O when I described the motherboard to them. I might have a computer that's overkill for me, LOL....

Really random thoughts from Worlds and Calgary...

2006-03-26T22:47:00.000-08:00

Never ever take an America West flight to Las Vegas if it's a layover. That's where my flight to Calgary got cancelled. I talked to the guy sitting next to me in the Phoenix airport food court and he mentioned that his America West flight from Las Vegas had been cancelled too in the past. It's like a black hole...

You know you're in the US terminal at the Calgary airport when the line for Starbucks is longer than the line for Tim Horton's.

It was barely over 35 degrees in Calgary when I was there, and I went the entre time without wearing a single pair of socks. I love my Ugg boots!

John Kerr is SUCH a sweetie. And he's cute and has a hot Scottish/British accent to boot! And his sister Sinead is taller than him when she's on heels! No wonder why people are saying they might have to break up as a team...

Eman is also a real sweetie. He stays after every night to talk to fans and sign autographs - he seems like a guy who needs a lot of goodwill from others to come his way so he can be happy.

I barely recognize Jeff Buttle without his hair.

No, no, he didn't shave it off - he was wearing a white stetson hat and I almost missed him walking past Denise and I until I realized it was Joannie Rochette wearing a white stetson hat walking along with him. He was aware that we did recognize him, LOL, even if we tried not to show it. He strikes me as being quite bright and perceptive...

I still cannot get over how TINY Brian Orser is. Really.

John Nicks is such an adorable little old man, LOL.

The figure skating athlete/fan interactions are so cute.

LOL at the Bulgarian fans a few rows behind me chanting, "BUL-GAH-REE-AH! BUL-GAH-REE-AH!" all during the free dance.
Canada arenas are anti-Gestapo. I sat in row 10 next to Denise when I was supposed to be up in the second tier. My bag was never searched, and my ticket was never checked.

Apparently in the US, in order to sneak food into the arena you have to hide it in a Kotex box. Too bad for the guys out there, eh?

It lightly flurried right before I left! Calgary was saying, "Bye! Have some snow!" to me! I stuck my hands out and walked around like a total CA tourist, LOL. Well don't blame me! I haven't seen snow fall for almost 10 years!

Lil sis always wanted a letter opener with a blade (she's morbid like that) and I saw one at a souvenir shop and bought it, but it was almost confiscated by US Customs. It really did look like a knife on the monitor, LOL...

..I'll add some more when they come to mind..

What I've learned so far from live skating...

2006-03-25T10:58:00.000-08:00

First thing: You really REALLY can't judge speed and flow on TV. You really can't. They have a jumbotron set up on the arena ceiling with a live feed, and sometimes I'll switch from watching the ice to watching the screen, and there's no contest.

Secondly, figure skating is such an audience-friendly sport, at least in Canada. Security didn't check my bag, even when I arrived at the arena straight from the airport with my rolling suitcase (long story) - my ticket was scanned and I was on my way. Many people went down to the barrier after performances and gave the skater(s) flowers and stuffed animals and received hugs in return. After the free dance victory ceremony, the skaters went around the barrier to sign autographs and take pictures, even after the zamboni came onto the ice to clean it for the ladies evening practice.

And most importantly, it's so, so, so much harder to NOT root for someone when you're watching them live. You can't help it. You see them as people, and then you forget that they're currently beating your favorite, you forget about the frustration that they've given you over the years, you forget about the negative articles (or FSU posts) that you've just read about them. You just want them to do well. You want them to be happy.

When Emanuel Sandhu came onto the ice, I was still in shock and much depressions for Jeff Buttle, but when he started skating, I forgot all about the negative comments in the media and in FSU. I didn't care that he bombed at the Olympics. He just grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go until it ended and I found myself standing up and cheering for him. He has an electric presence that I've only felt from Michelle Kwan, while suffering from what I call the "Brian Boitano" syndrome. (Boring on TV, but absolutely sublime live.) I hope he stays in, screw the naysayers! I want to see him skate live again. Yes, I'm selfish, but I wish he had more moments like this. He was so HAPPY. Denise, a huge Eman fan for a long time, was in tears.

I was also completely ecstatic with Brian Joubert. I still liked his skating, even when he attempted a style this year that just wasn't right for him. Lord of the Dance? What? Luckily, he figured this out before he arrived to Calgary, and I was treated to my favorite LP of his - Matrix! He fell a few times in warmup, once getting up and grimacing while shaking his arm, so I worried about that. (However, he provided me with my non-skating highlight of the men's LP - after he got off the warmup, his coach unzipped the back of his costume and Brian ripped it off, providing my section with a very nice glimpse of his muscular back. Heeee.) But when it was his turn to skate, did he bring it or what! After the disappointments that were last year's Worlds and the Olympics, I couldn't help but be elated.

Regarding Johnny Weir, I knew that he had had back problems and I worried for him too. He fell a few times in the warmup, which only increased my concern. I forgot about the fur coats (the poor fuzzies, Johnny, the poor fuzzies!), the extravagant spending, the diva personality - when he fell and struggled in getting up, all I could think was, "Oh no, oh no..." All I hoped for was that he would be okay, after he came off the ice and didn't lift his head even to see his scores. I didn't think about the person that the media made him out to be, I thought about the competitor in pain in front of me, and I wanted to give him a hug.

Speaking about hugs, poor Jeff. Oh, Jeff. I had never wanted to give anyone a hug more than when I saw him so dejected after his ending pose. On the jumbotron, he managed a weak JeffGrinTM for the audience, but all his eyes showed was complete devastation. My heart was in my throat when he singled the axel, and then it crashed through the basement when he singled the second one. At that point, I started getting very, very afraid every time he went up for a jump, but he fought through the rest of it.

But he'll be okay. The jumbotron doesn't show the skaters' faces when they show the scores, but I saw it on TV later. He looked at the numbers, shaking his head with disappointment, but the devastation was gone. Undoubtedly, there will be changes made this summer, and I can't wait to see them. I also can't wait for another chance to see him skate live again when it's a good week for him.

I've never been one to ask skaters for autographs or pictures. (Although, I couldn't help it when I found myself wandering into a group of autograph seekers around Angela Nikodinov, LOL.) Denise and Lois wandered over to talk with Emanuel, who was sitting in the audience after the free dance. Since they had met him before, they chattered with him while I sat nearby, shy as always, nodding every once in a while. He and I fiddled with the same chair seat. :P That was enough for me, LOL.

For me, it's just enough to see them, to see part of who they are and then to let them be. They're just people, like everyone else, but with a talent and drive that I will probably never know. It's one thing to hear about them in articles or in the media, and it's completely another thing to look them face to face.

In that vein, how tall is Shae-Lynn Bourne?!?! I walked right past her in the arena and she was taller than me! Even Brian Orser barely cleared my height!

is exasperated

2006-03-21T11:39:00.000-08:00

So just last night was the men's qualifying round, and I have never put so many users on my ignore list at once in my life. And it was the qualifying round. I might be even be glad that I won't be on FSU the day of the men's LP. I'll be enjoying the live skating without commentators ruining the music, and especially trolls popping onto FSU and calling skaters derogatory names. I mean, are we suddenly back in elementary school? Gimme a break.

*sigh*

In other news, I have so much crap to do before I leave for Calgary tomorrow. Eep!

But I am definitely taking my new Ugg boots with me. I may never wear another pair of shoes again. :P

HAH!

2006-03-19T10:22:00.000-08:00

Worlds is this week! :D

And in honor of that, my reputation level at FSU has now changed to "has touched the keyboard that touched the face of a David Wilson disciple." ROFL at the reference to choreographer David "I touch myself" Wilson, even though I cringe at the thought of someone taking a keyboard to Jeff Buttle, Joannie Rochette, Miki Ando, or Sasha Cohen's face....

And I've discovered the soundtrack station on iTunes. So far I've recognized The Mummy and now "Furious Angels" from The Matrix Reloaded and this thing has barely been up for 10 minutes...

I'm so nerdy.

Just when I'm getting productive...

2006-03-19T04:03:00.000-08:00

...my computer gets screwy. It started sounding like a faraway lawn mower, and I turn off the fans one by one (even the CPU fan, yes I'm incredibly ignorant BUT my computer is still alive :D ) until I found the culprit. The teeny fan on the video card.

Now Casey's gotten me buying a new video card that doesn't require a fan, and then he told me that it was a good idea to clean it out with a q-tip. Which, of course, did the trick. :P And now I'll have an upgraded video card...which, well...I can afford a $15ish video card off ebay. I've splurged on worse. :P

..like my new keyboard. Heeeeeeeeee.

And since the big fan wasn't working at all (dunno how long it's been like that...), I'm leaving the computer exposed on the floor of my room until I get a new fan. Boy, do I look like a badass tech nerd, LOL. Right.

:(

2006-03-18T14:01:00.000-08:00

So I had to leave Smitty the cat at the Petsmart adoption center today, and it made me sad.

And I just realized that I now have an even bigger incentive to find a job and move out of my parents house - there's not a single ice rink in Merced unless you drive 75 miles out!

NorCal and SoCal have spoiled me. Dear God, 2 hours driving each way?

LOL!

2006-03-17T23:18:00.000-08:00

So I meet Laura's current foster cat Smitty, and fall immediately in love with him because he's the sweetest cat EVER! (That's a lot coming from a bona fide dog person like me. I'm rather wary of cats.) I'm supposed to take him to the Upland Petsmart adoption day tomorrow so hopefully he can be adopted, and in my fervent wish to see him placed in a good home (because he IS the sweetest kitty ever) I go and advertise on Craigslist about Smitty.

...and then I read earlier postings and it turns out that Laura had also put in a posting about Smitty.

So honestly guys, we are talking the real deal here. Someone has to take this cat!

I'd adopt him myself if Goldie didn't want to eat him. Or if he didn't want to eat Squee. Whichever the case, LOL.

Eeeeeeeeeeee...

2006-03-13T22:02:00.000-08:00

So I'm taking care of two bunnies for a fellow Sagehen, and I want to adopt one of them. He licks my hand (bunny tongue!) and then he jumps into my lap when I'm sitting on the couch and tries to chew my sweatshirt.

Maybe she won't notice if he goes missing....

Most ironic day of my life

2006-03-11T19:15:00.000-08:00

So on Tuesday during lunch, I drove Alaska Laura and an angry feral cat to the Pasadena Humane Society to get neutered. (They have a free spay/neuter program there for people who bring in feral cats.) Bought some pizza and a slice of cheesecake since we were there...

...and then rushed back to anatomy lab where I dissected a dead cat. :P

In other animal news, my quail have gone off the stupid scale. Now instead of trying to kill each other, one of them was trying to kill himself. The female he was caged with didn't seem to mind the replacement male so I was dubious that I had another man-hating lesbian on my hands...and then I noticed the blood spots on top of the cage. Apparently he's been jumping up and down so fervently he gave himself serious head trauma.

I need him alive, but there's nothing I can really do if he won't eat or drink. Hopefully he'll find the food and water even if both his eyes are closed. I put his food in a pie pan so when I left he was sitting in it. Hopefully he'll realize it's food...

*sigh*

I take that back

2006-03-06T13:33:00.000-08:00

Being angry for short bursts can give you a good kick in the butt. Being chronically angry...not so much, but hey, everything in moderation, right?

And "Fighter" is a great song to play when you're angry. :D

When I thought I knew you
Thinking that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side
Always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame

Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're going around
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter.

O.O

2006-03-04T03:07:00.000-08:00

I've figured out that the "carnivorous frogs" in rm. 117 are African clawed frogs, just because I was looking for images to send Steph so she could understand why I'm so creeped out by them.

They sit there, be fat, and eat the feeder fish in the water with them. And they stare at you. With unmoving eyes.

Now imagine a whole colony staring at you. Hungrily. :P

They're like Kermit, bitten by zombies.

In other news, I have learned a valuable lesson this week: it takes waaaay too much energy to be stressed out and/or angry persistently, so I'm just not going to bother. I have no idea how some people can be stressed out and/or angry all the time. It's just not worth the effort.

My mom's so funny

2006-03-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

Apparently my dad wants to retire soon, since he can't stand the politics at his workplace anymore. On the prospect of having to stay home with dad 24/7...

goldiemom: I will stay home for a while with him, if he starts being funny, then I will start looking for job :)

Somehow that just cracks me up.

Woh

2006-02-26T17:49:00.000-08:00

Since when was I able to do a bracket? Or BO3-mohawks around the hockey circle?

O.O

Maybe I don't suck at footwork as much as I thought I did! :D

snerk

2006-02-26T08:08:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel like I'm harboring a lot of anger and resentment.

Either that, or I have a particular taste for schadenfreude.

Heh. I wonder if that's wrong....

But if that's wrong, then I don't wanna be right. :)

Post-Olympic happenings

2006-02-23T17:30:00.000-08:00

So yeah, the ladies LP is over (and for those on the East Coast, the NBC broadcast is starting now so I won't say anything about that at the moment) and I realized I hadn't said anything about the competition yet, LOL!

Yaaaaaay Jeff for winning the bronze! I was hoping that he would've skated better in the SP, but he came back strong for the LP and didn't back down on those pesky triple axels! You showed 'em who was boss!

Ooh ooh, and congrats to Evan Lysacek for having the skate of a lifetime. He was completely devastated after his disastrous SP, and was sick as a dog the day after, but he came back and skated a blinder the next day. He didn't medal, but I hope he's mucho proud of his performance.

:( for Johnny Weir. I was watching live on CCTV and going, "What the hell is he DOING? Not AGAIN!!" Eventually he'll learn not to make up stuff mid-program or skip jumping passes. Eventually....plus all of these articles about his ridiculous spending habits don't quite make me respect him any more. Meh.

On another note, yaaaaaay Matt Savoie! I was afraid that the Olympic moment would totally overwhelm him, but I was left going, "You SO didn't!" when he landed his second triple axel. Again! (First time was Nationals, LOL...)

Cheers for Tanith and Ben getting the silver in ice dance! A few months ago, they weren't even sure if they were going to be there, but then a lovely poster on FSU (a lawyer) worked pro bono to get her citizenship, as well as Maxim Zavozin's, through at the last minute. Job well done!

And I've gotten yet another insanely crazy idea, and it looks like it's actually going to happen: I'm going to Worlds next month in Calgary! It would have been more helpful if I had decided this earlier, so the flights would've been better, but meh. I'll have all spring break to work on my thesis and study for tests, so I won't feel too bad about skipping classes to go. :P Plus, it's my senior year and it's about high time I had a rockin' spring break. Even if it involves figure skating. Or rather, especially if it involved figure skating.

I'm planning to attend the men's LP (of course!), the ladies SP and LP, and the free dance. I would have loved to go to all of the events, but missing three labs is too much, even for me. I'm lucky that all of my lab days are during the first half of the week, and not interspersed. I knew there had to be a reason for all of the lab day changes that took place the first week of the semester. :) (There's always a reason for everything, I say.)

I'm so excited! This is going to be my first competition, so hopefully my heart can take it, LOL. The morning of the men's SP, I was literally hyperventilating in class. (The caffeine and sugar probably didn't help much.) It was quite hilarious - I was half-listening, half-taking-notes, half-working on a drawing for a biological illustration internship, and half-freaking out of my mind. I wasn't too nervous for any of the other disciplines, probably because my body had taken enough stress for the week and I didn't have enough energy for it anymore. :P

Olympic happenings....

2006-02-12T09:13:00.000-08:00

Michelle withdrew. :( I am sadness.

Shen & Zhao skated relatively well, even if they're in 5th so far. But Zhao didn't seem to mess up his Achilles any further and Shen looked ecstatic to be there, so yeah. :) It's so good to see them back.

Men's SP start order is already up. Jeff is in the first group (as well as Daisuke and Plushy HAH!) which starts at 10AM PST. I will be in class during that time, which obviously means I won't be able to watch it live on my computer. This is probably for the sake of my health, LOL.

But on the topic of watching the Olympics live: I sooo <3 Chinese TV (CCTV5 to be exact) and the internet, and the fact that the two come together so beautifully in the form of PPLive. Plus, they're showing more sports and more athletes than NBC would ever dream of showing. And their commentators don't talk during programs. :) Glory hallelujah.

By now NBC would be on the 20th broadcast of Michelle's press conference and her withdrawal, but no, CCTV5 is showing luge. :P

My hypothetical PETA letter

2006-02-02T20:32:00.000-08:00

After getting yet another mailing from PETA claiming that animal experimentation is the devil incarnate, I felt like writing a letter to PETA asking them to stop their mailings and tell them how offended I am by their accusations.

And then I read this and decided that it was probably better to throw away their mailing and keep their silly nickel.

But if I were to give a plea on the behalf of biologists everywhere to a non-extremist member of PETA, it would go something like this:

What is wrong about PETA and their agenda is that they assume that everyone doing research is heartless and has no respect for animals. That is completely and wholly untrue. I can't speak for the food and cosmetic industry, but everyone (and I do mean everyone) that I've worked with in labs using animals has felt regret that what they do involves the taking of lives. We try our best to minimize their pain and suffering, and there are serious ramifications if we don't.

We are biologists because we are fascinated by the phenomenon of life and want to know about how it works. I always feel guilty about having to kill animals for dissection and yet enjoy the process of dissecting them, because I had to destroy life to see how it works. However, that's the reality of working to uncover the truth about life itself - in order to study it, you have to destroy it.

And after reading that article, I am extremely saddened that those extremists target university research labs, since those have been the places I've seen great respect for animal life. If those jerks want to target someone, they might as well go after the dairy, meat, and poultry industry, cause even researchers know that they mistreat animals bred for food. Don't go after the people searching for truth, dammit.

Hmmmmm..

2006-01-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

Technically I should be happy that the Vert Physio test was moved, since it was going to be on the morning after the broadcast of the Men's LP at Torino, when I'd be undoubtedly glued to a TV watching my Jeff and my Matt (yay Matt!). Or glued to my computer, whichever the case.

But now it's the day before my Cell Bio test. Blaaaaah. At least my viewing of the men's LP will uninhibited by studying!

And the muse hits me...

2006-01-19T22:44:00.000-08:00

There's probably a reason why art teachers always want you to look at other people's work: to get you to do more art. Thanks to the scientific and medical illustration blitz at Drawn! and this guy's amazing work, I have too been inspired to try and paint in Photoshop. This is a dangerous endeavor, since I'm a first-timer, LOL, but since I've eschewed the Batgirl meme, I figure I should do something else instead.

I bring you, pig on a skateboard, part I! It looks dumb half-colored and darkly outlined. The picture I'm working from emphasizes value and contrast instead of line, which is why I'm not too worried about the silly lines for now. But, whatever...

wistful sigh

2005-12-23T20:26:00.000-08:00

So, I'm at that point where I can look back on my last relationship and go, "Awww, that was cute" and not feel sad. Still, there are certain things I miss - cuddles and light kisses especially. Not specifically with Matt, just in general.

I've never been a touchy-feely person, at least not with people. I will gladly manhandle anything nonhuman that is fuzzy, squishy, or both. I guess I'm just too uptight and dorky. I don't know how to gauge comfort levels with other people so I just let everybody have their personal space. Lots of personal space. :P In turn, I give off this "lots of personal space" vibe that people respond to as well, and then in the end I'm left cuddling a pillow instead. (Or maybe Squee, but I have be careful about crushing her.)

When I finally had "permission" (if you will) for being touchy-feedy with someone without receiving the cold shoulder or feeling completely awkward about it, I must say I really went all out. Sorry Matt. :P

So yeah, I'm just missing that sort of tender physical contact, but I don't feel up to muddling through various male psyches to get to that point. *sigh* Darned my laziness and introvertedness. So I guess the moral of this whole post is: I need a dog.

Something relatively lighthearted...I think...

2005-12-23T19:38:00.000-08:00

I present you: a conversation you wouldn't necessarily want to have with your cousin...

asianguy: have you seen predator?
azncupycake18: parts
azncupycake18: i especially enjoyed the part where jesse ventura called other people (ahnuld among them) a bunch of slack-jawed faggots
azncupycake18: ...i think that was the only part i enjoyed...
asianguy: that's too bad...there are so many fine moments
asianguy: i especially like the part where they indiscriminately blow up the jungle
asianguy: it is phallic hilarity at its finest
azncupycake18: ah
azncupycake18: phallic hilarity?
azncupycake18: trees?
azncupycake18: missiles? TNT?
asianguy: guns
asianguy: the movie is all about the guns
asianguy: can you think of a more phallic symbol?
azncupycake18: power drills
azncupycake18: well, i've actually used power drills...
asianguy: but they have no discharge
azncupycake18: i...guess....
azncupycake18: EW
azncupycake18: thanks a lot
asianguy: hahaha that's the whole point of a phallic symbol!

So yeah. I shall be meeting said cousin next week for his sister's wedding wheee! It seems that I will have to attend the rehearsal dinner, whatever that entails...

And next week, back off to Taiwan. Grandma died on Sunday morning (PST) so it's back off we go. Will have more on that later...when I have more on that.

Figures that my senior year winter break would be full of this flying around the world stuff when I should be working on thesis. Typically my winter break consists of sleeping late and watching late night movies on TV. No wait, I'm doing that too....

I'll just shut up now.

Going out with a bang...

2005-12-10T01:13:00.000-08:00

Not quite the ending to fall semester classes as I'd like - slept through one and fainted in the other. :P

Well, I felt fine when I woke up but 20 minutes into Animal Behavior, I started feeling nauseous and dizzy. It went for about 5 minutes before I figured it was probably better to go to the bathroom or lie down in the lounge...whichever I got to first. I ended up stumbling into the next room (the Seaver South seminar room) since my vision was really going by that point and I couldn't walk straight, and fainted on the table.

I immediately woke up (nobody saw me) and managed to get myself to the lounge and lay on a sofa for the rest of the class. I felt dizzy the rest of the day, and was lightheaded the morning after as well.

Just in case (well, since I had never had a fainting episode before and it came on with no warning), I stopped by the Student Health Center and they did a blood test. I got the results today and everything is.....normal! Tada!

Well, good that it's normal but not so good that the nurses are grasping at straws figuring out what was wrong with me on Wednesday morning. My glucose levels were a bit high but they were at 100 and their normal range is 65-99 so that isn't "statistically significant." LOL I mentioned that phrase and the nurse immediately knew I did research.

I hadn't had anything particularly sugary that morning, so my glucose levels may actually be higher normally. Like now, after I've downed probably 10 mint chocolate Hershey's Kisses. Boy, am I really awake now. Wheeeee!

Anyhow, they're having me keep a food journal (like I'm on a diet LOL) and any other symptoms I feel from now until Monday, when I'll have yet another follow-up appointment.

Actually, I think the explanation is pretty simple. My dad told me later (after completely freaking out) that he fainted suddenly in the shower once. Obviously this means that I've inherited all of my negative qualities from him.

Thanks a lot, Dad. :P

Hear hear!

2005-12-05T16:48:00.000-08:00

Just read a response to a Wall Street Journal article my sister sent us since it mentioned my old high school.

For all of the talk surrounding Lynbrook and how "hard" and "stressful" it is, I actually thought it was pretty easy. The stereotype that "all Asian parents pressure their kids" is just that - a stereotype. My mom practically gave up trying to get me and my sister to study by middle school. (My dad was never around to witness the disobedience, LOL.) TV was okay, and so was Internet and AIM. The work got done. Our grades kept up. Sure, I stayed up late all the time (was always a crappy time manager compared to lil sis) but I think that's pretty normal even here at Pomona.

From the WSJ:

When Matthew, now a student at Notre Dame, finished middle school eight years ago, Ms. Doherty decided to send him to Bellarmine College Preparatory, a Jesuit school that she says has a culture that "values the whole child."

And any Asian-majority school doesn't value the whole child? Bullshit. You get what you put in. It's called "parenting." I'm hardly an academically-driven individual - I'd rather be sleeping (haha), painting, drawing, playing piano, or ice skating. I'm not too shabby at any of them, if I must say. I don't think I know anyone else who actively pursues half of the things I do. My sister is a debate whiz and churns out handmade cards like no tomorrow. She's way more academically-driven (and extroverted) than I am, but she's definitely interested in what she's learning, and not just focused on the GPA.

I don't know about anyone else, but I thrive on challenges. You will get me motivated and productive to the max if you say to me, "I don't think you can do this." I'll go and show you. :P

Just this past week a piano piece I was playing was in a really poor state (because I hadn't been putting in the practice time har) and Gayle sort of looked at me askew after I had played for her and said, "Um....I don't think you can do this piece at the performance class this Saturday." Well, I did. When I told her that day what I was playing, she said not to worry if I couldn't get through the whole thing. And I did. Of course it wasn't perfect, but it was a hundred times better than it was earlier that week. (It also took 5 hours of practice time in 2 days, something that I almost NEVER do.)

So yeah. I need to be doubted more often.

I don't know, though. If all parents did that then there would be talk of "Oh, parents aren't challenging their kids enough!" What's a parent to do, really?

Men are stupid

2005-11-11T18:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I don't know about human men, but male quails aren't awfully bright.

The one I named Igor (due to his sideways head) decided to walk into the feed jar which had flipped over. Another male decided it would be a good idea to crawl in with Igor, and they both got stuck. I managed to pull out the outside quail by the feet (at least his feet were sticking out so I didn't have to resort to pulling tail feathers) but Igor had apparently suffocated.

And just now, I found three injured males in various cages. Two of them had HUGE gashes on their heads, and one of them was still bleeding and unable to open his eyes because of the blood dripping into them. Due to the lack of blood around the cage edges and because none of the females have bleeding injuries, I believe the males are fighting, possibly to the death. (I found some blood splatters on the walls.) This is just great.

The females make me happy though. They cheep cutely. They've begun to lay eggs. None of this "I crow like I've got a frog in my throat and fight to the death!" testosterone business.

Sigh...I don't know what to do with the injured ones. I think I'll have to put them down, but um, I haven't learned how to do that yet...

Sorry for coming back from a long blogging absence with depressing news. I was going to post about my sudden trip to Taiwan visiting my very sick grandma, but that's fairly depressing as well. C'est la vie.

My life sucks

2005-10-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

Due to the "dangers" of having sharp wire edges on my quail cages, I'm forced to grind them down, one half-inch increment at a time. There are...a lot of half-inch increments. This is ridiculous - at this rate, it's taking me ten times as long to grind down the edges on one cage than it took to BUILD the damn thing. It'll take me 5.5 days to finish all 11 cages, if I don't eat or sleep or go to the bathroom or go to class. And the chicks are supposed to go into the cages sometime this week. I think at this point I'm ready to duct tape all of the edges and screw the ability to autoclave it.

And the "last ditch effort" adult quails that the breeder sent me today are only guaranteed 2nd day delivery. WTF? They don't guarantee next day delivery of live animals? I'm going to be on-call all day tomorrow and the day after just in case they arrive.

This isn't even counting non-thesis work. *wails*

Ooh!

2005-10-05T08:12:00.000-07:00

Jeff Buttle has a blog! I swear, I <3 that boy more and more every day. :)

Although, apparently his parents read FSU. Um, I don't think I've criticized him too much (the shoulder pads have to go, Jeff!), but hopefully they'll take note of several musical pieces I said would be good for him to skate to. *g*

I'm still gaping with awe over his new long program. The first half is the most gorgeously choreographed program I have ever seen. I stopped it halfway in my first viewing so I could watch it again. Dunno about the soft ending, but if anyone can pull it off, it's Jeff.

I have less confidence in our US boy Johnny Weir, whom Jeff pwns in costume tastes. And he still hasn't gotten out of his "romantic techno/elevator music" rut. Gah!

GO CANADA!

Sometimes I wonder...

2005-10-04T00:14:00.000-07:00

..about the importance of my life when my own mother forgets how old I am.

goldiemom: how old are you?
azncupycake18: what?
goldiemom: age
azncupycake18: YOU GAVE BIRTH TO ME!
azncupycake18: how can you forget? :-P
goldiemom: can not count now
azncupycake18: 21
azncupycake18: HAHHAHAHHAHHA
goldiemom: so didi is 18? sigh not child any more ( 17 and under)
azncupycake18: she's 19 now
azncupycake18: HHAHAHAHHAAH
azncupycake18: right?
goldiemom: really
azncupycake18: yeah
azncupycake18: 2005
goldiemom: sigh
azncupycake18: HAHHAAAHHAHAHHA
goldiemom: I am so good at not remember my age, so I do not remember yours too
azncupycake18: HAHHAHHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH

Research sucks

2005-09-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

My highlight of the week was when the first quail chicks hatched. They're awfully tiny and cute and fluffy...but far too few of them. I had 130ish eggs, and only 24 have hatched out so far. I was gunning for 60. On top of that, I lost the key to their room today.

Those two problems, in addition to the other 4 I had to overcome to even get here...somebody's trying to tell me this whole thesis thing is a bad idea.

I also found it amusing that I received mailings from the American Humane Association, ASPCA, PETA, and the Nature Conservancy the day that the first chicks hatched. Coincidence? At this point, I don't think so...

Anyhow, I just looked over my calendar, and there's no way I'll be able to finish my proposed thesis before graduation. It would probably be a good idea to look for any other research possibilities using 20ish Japanese quail, and fast.

Research is fun, but setting it up sucks.

BTW, the healthy quails locked in the room should be fine - I gave them food and water and changed their bedding this morning. Added a heat lamp for good measure since they were huddled in a tight ball. There were a couple who looked weak and I was going to give them pedialyte, but apparently that's not going to happen in the near future....might end up with 20ish chicks in the end. *sigh*

East Coast memories, alive and well

2005-09-20T12:28:00.000-07:00

Too much excitement yesterday. It all started as a relatively typical working afternoon setting up the dbio lab, when all of a sudden the lights flickered out. A moment later the exit signs and half of the ceiling lights turned on, while the fume hoods and high-tech fridge started screaming bloody murder for lack of main power. I looked over to the incubator - no sound. Uh oh. My unborn baby quails!

I ran upstairs immediately to seek advice. Dr. Cheney told me to keep the door closed for the moment, while Dr. Fowler said it was probably best to switch it to standby power, especially when the temperature dropped 10 degrees. Unfortunately, none of the teaching labs had any standby power outlets! So, as soon as the temperature dropped to 90 (which only took half an hour) I rushed over to Home Depot with a mission - to acquire an 100-ft extension cord. Soon there was an orange cord in the biology building snaking out of one lab, across the hall, and into another.

The reason for the outage was "a manhole cover blew up." (Or, something like that.) Apparently it damaged some switches and/or fuses directly servicing the biology building. Te entire campus was out for a few moments, but the biology building was the only one I know of that was out that entire afternoon.

Why not the English building, for gosh sakes! They can read by candlelight! Can't do diddly squat in a bio building with no power!

That afternoon, while setting up the rest of the lab in half-light, I commented to Dr. Cheney about my younger days in NJ, muddling around in total darkness looking for flashlights and candles during late-night blackouts. Coincidentally, that's what happened to us later on.

Administration sent us an email about an impending 3-hour blackout (for repairing cables) about half an hour before it actually happened. I read that email about 2 minutes before the computer, lights, fridge, and fan fizzled. Someone across the dorm yelled in anguish. He was probably writing a paper. I sat in complete darkness for a few seconds before I realized that the hall lights were still on, probably running on generator power. At least we had something...

Soon we were greeted with thunder and lightning and rain (v. East Coast, I must say) and yet another momentary blackout. By this time I had had enough and figured I might as well go to sleep.

It occurred to me that getting an umbrella would be a good idear...

wails

2005-09-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

Bush talking about Hurricane Katrina this Monday:

"I knew a big storm was coming...on Monday. That's why I spoke to the country on Monday morning about it, saying "There's a big storm coming..."

Hello, the storm was already HERE that Monday morning, you nitwit!!!! And then moments later he called it "extraordinary" that he "pre-signed emergency declarations in anticipation of a big storm coming." Well, good going there, dude. The whole country sure believed you this morning when you finally "took responsibility" for the federal government fuckup more than two weeks after the fact. Sure.

On the drawing room window there's a group of figures painted stained-glass style that are faintly recognizable as Dubya, Dick Cheney, Rumsfeld, and Condi Rice holding various incriminating things (LOL on the Cheney and the Halliburton book). I've always seen it there and accepted it as part of the drawing room decor, but it hadn't quite hit me how recent it must have been. Or, not recent, since Bush was first elected in 2000 and OH MY GOD I hadn't even graduated from high school yet. And then it hit me OH MY GOD I'm going to graduate from college with Bush STILL president. My younger sister will graduate from college by the time there's a changing of the guard. *cries*

The more I hear Bush speak on TV, the more I want to run and hide under a table. I look at his face and I have the feeling that there really is nothing happening under there.

Second week...jitters?

2005-09-08T00:42:00.000-07:00

So I decide that due to my rather unfortunate habit of being late to everything, I should set the clocks in my room fast. Apparently I overdid it, because on Monday, when I started walking to class at 9AM (room time), the campus was absolutely deserted. I actually wondered for about five seconds, whether or not it was Sunday and if I had missed a weekend or something. When I got to class, I was 5 minutes early. First time ever, LOL. Apparently my room clock is 15 minutes faster than any kind of official clock on campus. I will never be late again! Fwah!

And...I really really hate doing blind contours. If there's anything I despise in drawing, it's that. If you don't know what they are, blind contour is when you stare at an object, then draw wherever your eye goes without looking at the paper. I swear, it bores me to friggin' DEATH. I can see things already!

For instance, did you ever notice that there are two kinds of chairs at Frary? And at the Scripps dining hall?

See, I notice things already. Don't need no stinkin' blind contour...

Heh...

2005-09-04T17:56:00.000-07:00

Who knew little Shana adored action music? Last night on the way to the rink, we blasted the Batman Begins soundtrack on the freeway. She noted that she felt like the damsel in distress and the hero was coming to save her.

I, however, felt like the hero in the cape, jumping off rooftops. I wonder what this says about our respective psyches...

My laugh of the day

2005-09-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

I let Squee, my remaining guinea pig, onto the floor to clean her cage, and I notice that she's under my desk pushing the folding magazine rack onto my foot. I reach down and try to move it out of her way, but don't see her behind it. I lift it up and realize that it's quite heavy, and OMG Squee's stuck IN the darned thing! I nearly died laughing.

She struggles around for a little bit more before she wriggles herself out of it.

Also thought it was amusing when she tried crawling under the legs of my wheely chair. She manages to get her head through, then gets stuck for several seconds trying to wrestle the rest of her body under.

And then there was the time she popcorned so fervently she ended up on her back. Hahahahahhahaa...

I've got to do this more often...

An interesting AIM convo...

2005-09-03T22:24:00.000-07:00

azncupycake18 (7:34:58 PM): ouch bah
azncupycake18 (7:35:02 PM): got to stretch more often..
sleepy (7:35:09 PM): ...
sleepy (7:35:20 PM): that first line was pretty darn fobby
azncupycake18 (7:37:43 PM): really?
azncupycake18 (7:37:48 PM): i just made it up...
azncupycake18 (7:37:52 PM): fobs really say that?
azncupycake18 (7:37:54 PM): lol
sleepy (7:38:13 PM): ouch ba!
sleepy (7:38:15 PM): or
sleepy (7:38:21 PM): "okay la!"
azncupycake18 (7:38:24 PM): ah
azncupycake18 (7:38:27 PM): haven't said that
azncupycake18 (7:38:30 PM): yet :-P
azncupycake18 (7:38:37 PM): so matt's birthday isn't until monday
azncupycake18 (7:38:51 PM): which troubles me because i SWEAR somebody's birthday as on 9/2
azncupycake18 (7:39:06 PM): and it could be my dad's if it isn't matt's :-P
sleepy (7:40:00 PM): HAH!
azncupycake18 (7:40:08 PM): shaddup :-P
sleepy (7:40:17 PM): i thought it was on the sixth :-P
sleepy (7:40:23 PM): apaprently i forgot the month, though :-P
sleepy (7:40:28 PM): ok
azncupycake18 (7:40:30 PM): hah
sleepy (7:40:32 PM): time to go get deeeeeeener
azncupycake18 (7:40:37 PM): i knew it was first week of sept
sleepy (7:40:40 PM): i ttyl
sleepy (7:40:41 PM): :-P
azncupycake18 (7:40:43 PM): o lol
azncupycake18 (7:40:48 PM): it WAS my dad's birthday!
sleepy (7:40:49 PM): oh wait
azncupycake18 (7:40:50 PM): :-P
azncupycake18 (7:40:51 PM): oops
sleepy (7:40:55 PM): 9/6
sleepy (7:41:00 PM): 3/9
sleepy (7:41:03 PM): iinnteresting
sleepy (7:41:05 PM): 3/22
sleepy (7:41:09 PM): ...i was off by a day
sleepy (7:41:12 PM): :-P
sleepy (7:41:23 PM): 3/9 is peter's bday
sleepy (7:41:29 PM): ...or was it 3/6
sleepy (7:41:31 PM): ...
sleepy (7:41:37 PM): it was some multiple of three :-P
sleepy (7:41:40 PM): okbyela!
sleepy (7:41:42 PM): :-D
sleepy signed off at 7:41:48 PM.

First day of classes...

2005-08-31T15:56:00.000-07:00

Not as exciting now, I suppose, compared to all of the excitement happening down in New Orleans. There's nothing like a freak force of nature to remind us how small and insignificant we really are. But that's part of the human spirit, I suppose - being wonderfully resilient. Might take us a bit longer this time, though. I hope everyone is going to make a donation to the Red Cross or help volunteer or something, because it's a huge effing mess.

In other first-week-of-school excitement news, I just received an order of art supplies from Cheap Joe's and I was wondering why the box of canvas panels was so big and SO heavy. Turns out that they sent me thirteen 3-packs of panels instead of five! Normally, being my stingy self, I would just revel in my luck of getting 24 extra canvas panels for free (credit card wasn't charged for them), but Cheap Joe's is such a nice and cute company, I couldn't help but contact them about their mistake.

The first time I ordered from them, they sent me some cute poems about spring, as well as a little packet of flowerseeds (which I have yet to plant). Every time you order from them, they include a card thanking you for being such a great customer (awwww..). Even though their prices beats any other art stores out of the water, if you don't count start-of-semester sales in Pasadena, LOL. And just now, when I opened up the sketchbox of my new French easel, I found a wood palette and a book on plein air (outdoor) painting. Nothing on the description said that they were going to include that. It's like Christmas every time you order from them. Or, I suppose it's like a box of chocolates.....

So, being a supernice and cute company guilt trips your customers into being nice to you too. Fact.

snort

2005-08-27T00:21:00.000-07:00

The best insults I have come across in a very very long time, courtesy of a ridiculous Michelle Kwan thread on FSU:

Consume feces and expire.

Depart and perform a deviant sexual act alone.

I hate moving

2005-08-14T14:56:00.000-07:00

Moving involves carrying heavy boxes, making your room a mess, stubbed toes, cut fingers, and dropping your computer monitor down half a flight of stairs.

Obviously the monitor survived the fall. Boy, was I glad I had wrapped it up in my mattress pad and stuck my shoes in the box with it so nothing moved around when it took that tumble. Although, the screen is a little bit crooked. Can't decide whether it's the screen or the desk though.

Will wait to transport refrigerator and microwave when it's not as sunny. Ugh.

Strange time for an all-nighter....

2005-08-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

But at least a positive aspect of being the only student in the computer lab at this godforsaken hour fighting with printers and computers is enjoying uber-sugarified coffee with Larry the server guy, who's also probably pulling an all-nighter trying to fix Pomona's webserver. Or, wait around staring at the computer screen while it's scanning everything and try to figure out what the heck it's really doing.

Ah, computers. The more you use them the more you realize how crazy they really are...

My typical weekday

2005-07-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

Eat. Art. Work (maybe). Eat. Work. Eat. Art. Crash. Not literally speaking, of course, but basically what happens. Not to mention that in the last week and a half, I've become crazy psycho LA driver trying to fight post-rush hour traffic getting to Pasadena almost every day.

And then there's today, which I have done absolutely nothing productive with. Except sleep. A lot. Planning on going skating in a bit, at least that'll be slightly productive. And then work on more art when I get back.

There's a glimmer of hope on the horizon though. Gayle, my life drawing instructor, loved my self-portrait midterm assignment (even though I thought it was kinda meh), and everyone really liked it. Some little fixes here and there and it would be a good portfolio piece, methinks. I love it when you devote yourself to something you're not sure if you'll succeed in, and then making that little bit of leeway through the mire. It's then when you can actually think, "I can do this!"

I swear...

2005-07-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

I'm getting relatively stupider every year.

Makes me glad I got into Pomona when I did, LOL...

chortle

2005-07-20T23:20:00.000-07:00

The funniest thing I've heard all week - listening to my illustration teacher complain about being "old" constantly, but not looking a day over 30, maybe. Later, after class, I ask him how old he actually is, and apparently he's going to be 40 this year. After telling him that he really didn't look it, he cringed and said, "Yeah, I know."

Apparently when he was in 10th grade, a family friend asked him how school was, and he answered all right - taking classes in trigonometry and chemistry and the like. This family friend (who was obviously behind the times) looked at him incredulously, prompting a "What?" from my teacher and an appropriate reply: "I thought you were 9!"

And imagine, when I was the same age, people assumed I was in my 20's and working at a computer company. (Hopefully this will stop when I'm 30..)

Redemption!

2005-07-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

Moved back to Pomona yesterday afternoon. Mom chatted with Aunt about me being a nuisance (LOL) and then Aunt mentioned that when I lived with them, they saved $100 in electricity. All due to me turning the thermostat up to 74 whenever I saw that Cousin had yanked it down to 60. I have one thing to say: BOOYAH!

Life lessons

2005-07-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

Everything does happen for a reason. Says my personal quasi-spiritual system, at least.

I learned this weekend that the greatest gift you could offer a dying creature is to make sure their last experience on earth is feeling loved. I felt I was able to do that for Dot, and death doesn't seem so frightening to me now. Death is so scary for some people, for those who can't stand being in the same room with someone or something dead or close to dying. But at that point, I think it's not about you and your fears - it has to be about the person who's passing on. (Face it, they're really getting the short end of the stick compared to you.) And making sure that all of the loose ends are tied because there won't ever be another chance.

I buried Dot on Friday afternoon, the same day that she passed. I figured that if my aunt didn't want a sick animal in the house, a dead animal would be out of the question. And leaving her in the car didn't really strike me as a good option either. I put her in a cell phone box, made her some origami flowers and cranes, and wrote her a message. When I told my cousin what happened, she wrote Dot a message too and gave me some snowman wrapping paper to wrap the box in. Dot has obviously never seen snow, and had she encountered it, might have thought it either a lot of fun or really really strange. Either way, it makes me chuckle.

I went out and buried her on Art Center's Hillside Campus, off in some brush where I don't think anyone frequents. Pomona, to me, was not really an option because I was sure that somebody would catch me digging or that the campus gardeners would dig up the box while planting more pretty flowers. Overmaintaining the campus is sometimes not a good thing. Art Center, on the contrary, is literally in the woods, save for some service roads, a large parking lot, and the building. Mountain lions and rattlesnakes were sighted recently, so I figured not many people would be wandering off the roads anyway, LOL. I had a hard enough time finding a suitable place (I actually doubt I'd be able to find it again even if I wanted to), and got out of it with lots of pointy plant parts attacking my pants and socks. God, I hope they don't mind...She has a kickass view though. The campus is on the side of the hill (what a concept!) overlooking the city of Pasadena. Quite a sight.

I didn't cry. At that point, what I was burying was a shell of what she was, not the pet that I knew. Rigor mortis has that effect, I think. It was more devestating when I was holding her and realized she had passed on when she went limp and her heart stopped beating. After I left, a weight seemed to be lifted off my heart, for I felt that I had set her free.

RIP Dot

2005-07-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

Dot died today. When I drove over to Pomona yesterday, Julia told me that Dot suddenly stopped eating and moving around sometime the night before. I took her back and caused mucho complications in the process because my mom promised my paranoid aunt that I wouldn't be bringing the guinea pigs back after I returned during the July 4 weekend. (She was convinced they needed to be "sanitized" beforehand and kept calling my mom to tell me - but you don't sanitize a guinea pig!)

So I had to leave Dot overnight in the car after mucho force-feeding. Last night I would have given you a much more entertaining rant about that but I'm too exhausted and upset to do that now.

I got up at 6:15 to see how she was doing and try and feed her some more. She wouldn't open her mouth to swallow and didn't appear to be blinking. The vet's office didn't open for another half hour so I didn't know what else to do but hold her until she went limp. :(

I spent the next half hour crying and talking to my mom. She said that at least Dot got to be with me in her last moments, so she was probably happy. Now it's a question of seeing what I can do with her body and hoping that Squee didn't catch whatever Dot might have had...

(((London)))

2005-07-07T09:13:00.000-07:00

"I seek the means to fight injustice, to turn fear against those who prey on the fearful."

This is one of the times I wish we really did have someone like that, someone to beat some compassion/sense into the people who did this.

I hope everyone studying abroad at Pomona is back now and safe. Horrible, especially the day after they were awarded the 2012 Olympics.

Argh!

2005-06-24T14:51:00.000-07:00

If I see Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes on TV one more time, I'm going to scream. Yes, they're a beautiful couple, and yes, they make great press, but the way this "relationship" has developed and his "You don't understand Scientology" shtick even makes ME gag. As of late I've been changing the channel everytime I see Tom's face on TV. One time I didn't, and was greeted by the sight of Tom signing autographs in a huge crowd of fans, and Katie clinging to his back the entire time. Now, I thought I was clingy, but that borders on frightening. What has he done to her?!

War of the Worlds may be a great movie by all means, but I sure won't be seeing it. I don't intend on wasting my money to see his face for 2+ hours.

Mmmmm...

2005-06-21T23:27:00.000-07:00

Milk and orange juice and ice cream and strawberries from Albertson's. Life is good.

May I add that it's funny that I had to buy milk and orange juice myself? Well okay, nobody really drinks milk around here, but instead of having 100% juice, I always found mixed juice drinks. Upon questioning, my aunt said that regular juice is fattening because of the sugar, and I almost said, "And the stuff you have in the fridge and pantry that contains mostly water and high fructose corn syrup is not as fattening?"

Almost.

But I didn't. Very much like how I almost bash my head against a wall whenever the importance of having straight A's and high SAT scores is brought up. But I don't. (Did I mention that my aunt works in the medical field and should really know about that corn syrup?)

I try to be sneaky with this. First it's mysterious cartons of orange juice and milk suddenly appearing in the fridge. Then, maybe it's introducing my cousin to something fun that hopefully she finds interesting so she can put something down on her college apps besides perfect stats. That doesn't mean squat if you're gunning for a private college, and I have a feeling that most people who obsess over the numbers are aiming that high. If you want to know more, my sister at Stanford will be happy to share her opinions unto you. She can go on forever about this stuff. Me, I'm trying to channel my mom and not obsess over other people's lives too much. Practicing my restraint, if you will.

In other warm and fuzzy news, this is indeed. Looks cozy. I want one. :D

Bumps in the night...

2005-06-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

I remember when Tim Burton's Batman movies scared the bejeebers out of me. Gave me nightmares for years. I don't know how I would have reacted to the new Batman Begins if I was 5. But I'm old enough now to appreciate greatness when I see it. Chris Nolan rocks! That is all.

Oh, and bats are cute. They squeak. :D

Degrees of separation

2005-06-18T12:36:00.000-07:00

Every time I hear about a small plane crashing, I think of him.

I would not have been on that freeway so late even if I had class at Art Center main campus, but the plane went down right at the exit I would have taken to get there.

Earthquake schmearthquake...

2005-06-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

Earthquakes are neat. Sunday morning, I was groggily aware of being on a shaker for about 5 seconds. You know, a shaker? Those mechanical platforms in the biology lab which swirl around solutions? Yeah...I thought numbly that maybe it was a train, but realized that we didn't live next to a train station. My next thought was, "Cool, an earthquake!" Then I went back to sleep.

This afternoon Vicky asked me if I had felt "that earthquake" and I thought she meant the one on Sunday. Then I turned on the news and realized another one had happened this afternoon! I had been at the rink, and was definitely on the ice taking a lesson when it happened, but hadn't felt a thing. New coach hadn't said anything either, and nobody at the rink mentioned it.

Maybe the ice has good suspension?

Art school quirks

2005-06-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

I've noticed all around Art Center that whenever most people would use masking or Scotch tape, they use Staedtler Drafting Dots. Flyers on walls and windows were all attached with those silly little blue-and-white dots. And there are a lot of them...

Deep thought of the day

2005-06-04T20:13:00.000-07:00

Everything happens for a reason.

I was just thinking over the past few years of my life, and I've realized that a lot of the most profound experiences came about out of something I thought was stupid, silly, or insignificant. Last year's memorable stay at Berkeley would not have been possible had I not known Vicky, who I would not have met unless I had been with Matt, who I would have not have met unless I had a silly crush on another guy freshman year.

I wouldn't be here with a particular goal (medical/scientific illustration) in mind and taking art classes unless I had taken a no-brainer job opening department mail, among other things, in Professor Cheney's lab. I came across the flyer for UCSC's scientific illustration program and the rest was history, so they say. If I had had the same job in any other lab or a different job in the Cheney lab, I wouldn't have been opening department mail. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not.

Just a thought.

Musings on my neverending quest for sugar

Dawdling can be a very good thing

Fear for the medical community!

Quote of the weekend

A new look

Thoughts that ran through my head when the doorbell was rung multiple times on 7AM Sunday

A nearly belated Halloween post

Awwwwww...

And for some entertainment...

My faith in the male species has been restored

...

Hmmm...

On the Middle East...

The Fountain

Long-due updates...

In Nolan I trust

A photographic journal depicting the drama of garden life

Some hope for politics after all

Wah!

Glad I'm not the only one...

Having post-college angst

Being lazy...

Ribbons undone...

...look closer

S-C-H-A-D-E-N-F-R-E-U-D-E!!

I am...DONE!!!

Finally taking a bit of a break...

You know you've regained your sanity when...

Late night with cell bio and two male bio nerds

This is ridiculous

LOL

Grrr

I think...

Heh...

Posting my resume online...

I need to take my mom to a MUNI bus...

I HATE MY COMPUTER

I'm a revolutionary!

GAH!

Prospie invasion!

In a much better mood

I don't think...

*meow*

Not the fiendest of the sugarfiends...

O.O

My second (or third) *snerk* post

*urgh*

Actually working on thesis now...

Should be working on my thesis but...

Really random thoughts from Worlds and Calgary...

What I've learned so far from live skating...

*is exasperated*

HAH!

Just when I'm getting productive...

:(

LOL!

Eeeeeeeeeeee...

Most ironic day of my life

I take that back

O.O

My mom's so funny

Woh

*snerk*

Post-Olympic happenings

Olympic happenings....

My hypothetical PETA letter

Hmmmmm..

And the muse hits me...

*wistful sigh*

Something relatively lighthearted...I think...

Going out with a bang...

Hear hear!

Men are stupid

My life sucks

Ooh!

Sometimes I wonder...

Research sucks

East Coast memories, alive and well

*wails*

Second week...jitters?

meow

My second (or third) snerk post

urgh

is exasperated

snerk

wistful sigh

wails

snort

chortle